Tavie
dave foley
mark mckinney
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Saturday, June 30, 2007
I hate people. People are awful.

I went to see Ratatouille, the eagerly-anticipated (by me) newest Pixar release (starring the great Patton Oswalt). I had other plans this weekend that were unexpectedly cancelled, and this was my consolation.

The theatre was about half-full; Gina and I sat in two seats, she on the aisle and me next to her. There were two people at the other end of the same row, and empty space between us. The previews begin, and a group of people tramp in and try to sit in the empty spaces in the middle of the row (plenty of room in the theatre, but whatever, they wanted to sit there.) So Gina and I get up and we can already tell there's not enough room for their whole group, but none of these idiots can count so half of them have to step back out once they're all squeezed in there. Nice.

So, the movie begins and the guy next to me complains to the woman next to him about the Pixar short that precedes the movie. (Very cute, very clever little silent short about bumbling extra-terrestrials.) Like, "What was that, the movie? Was that a movie?"

I roll my eyes.

Okay, then I watch the film, and it's beautiful and amazing and I love it, and then the credits start and everyone jumps up to leave. But I don't, because the credits are these amazing, blazing 2-d cartoons of rats and food and they're just really beautiful and insanely clever and I'm as caught up in them as I am in the rest of the movie. And then I hear an "AHEM" from next to me and one of the women who had tramped in said impatiently, "CAN I GET OUT PLEASE?"

And, like, okay, I dig that not everyone wants to watch the credits; I usually leave if the credits don't look like they're interesting or if the people with me really want to leave and I'm not interested in the credits. But this time I was very much interested in the credits. I hadn't been this interested in credits since A Serious of Unfortunate Events (a movie the best part of which, in my opinion, was the end credits.)

So I have to stand up and let her out and that wouldn't have been as annoying as it was if there hadn't been a perfectly good, perfectly empty row to the other side of this bitch leading directly to the exit. Why couldn't she leave at the other end of the aisle? Why did she have to ruin my credits?

That is why I hate people.

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